Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
