I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
