I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
