why didn't you poke me back
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hippo gnu deer
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
