So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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