I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
love makes seman taste better
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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