Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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