he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
