handjob tips. give me some.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
