I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
COCAINE IS GR8
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
