Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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