He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
