yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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