am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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