Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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