I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
