Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just high enough for therapy.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
