Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
