i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
