I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together