We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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