And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i think i have herpe
just one?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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