first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize