ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
