i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
