You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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