I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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