can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
