everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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