I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
