I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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