It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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