oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize