You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
