I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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