i think my mom watched the whole time
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
