When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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