He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
