I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
