I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
