ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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