Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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