HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
