I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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