He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
