My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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