I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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