Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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