My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
