tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
