The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
