Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize