just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize