He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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