we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Randomize
