I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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