This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
