I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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