My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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