I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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