There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
